Partnerships & Sponsorships

The quest is ongoing. If your brand makes something worth ranking, this is where to start.

One rule above all others: I do not trade favorable reviews for sponsorship money. The Chocolate Milk must earn its rank. What I will do is drink it, rank it honestly, and feature it prominently if it deserves to be featured.

Send Your Product

The simplest and most direct path. Send your chocolate milk and I'll review it on the same 100-point rubric as every other brand on the list. No payment required, no guaranteed placement, no score adjustment.

What you get if you score well:

  • A permanent ranked listing with full written review
  • Potential feature in future "best of" content
  • A review I can actually recommend you share

What you don't get: a bought score. The ranking is the ranking.

Sponsorship

If your product ranks well and you want more visibility, sponsorship options exist. I'll wear your brand in Jiu-Jitsu competitions. I'll feature your product in content. I'll mention you honestly and without the caveats that sponsored content usually requires, because I'll only sponsor brands I actually believe in.

  • Branded mentions across relevant pages
  • Featured placement in rankings (if earned)
  • Social content and competition visibility
  • A genuine endorsement, not a transaction

Interviews & Features

If you're a founder, farmer, or producer doing something interesting in the chocolate milk space, I want to talk to you. Not a press release — an actual conversation about what you're making and why.

  • Farms, creameries, and cooperatives
  • Nondairy and plant-based producers
  • Founders of emerging brands
  • Anyone doing something genuinely different

Content Collaboration

Open to collaboration with brands, nutritionists, athletes, and anyone else with a genuine angle on chocolate milk. Guest content, co-authored guides, recipe development — all possible if the fit is right.

  • Guest posts and expert perspectives
  • Recipe and pairing development
  • Brand-adjacent editorial content
  • Social and community partnerships

The Sampler Offer

If you want to get on the list without shipping directly, send a sampler — a single serving is enough to score. I've reviewed drinks from rest stop shelves, airport terminal vendors, and gas station coolers. Presentation doesn't factor into the score. The milk does.

Minimum for a review: one serving, original packaging, no requests for a specific outcome. That's it.

Recommended for a feature: a case, some context about the brand, and an openness to a real conversation about what you're making.

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